A Wedding Speech for Conor & Lauren

We’re gathered here in Malta,
Not a cloud up in the sky,
For the wedding of the summer,
On the 14th of July.

What a wonderful occasion,
The biggest day of Conors life,
After 7 years of trying,
Lauren’s finally his wife.

The man with the massive afro,
And a bulging pair of thighs,
It was love at first sight for Lauren,
When she saw those big green eyes.

Look at Dani Alves,
Beaming there with pride,
Beside the lovely Lauren,
His gorgeous, stunning bride.

Conor the Blackrock lads all love you,
Your one of our best pals,
But Belvo was always the dream for you,
With Damo, Podge & O Malls.

Gathered here with our loved ones,
And the friends that we all miss,
One person not here on this special day,
Is Conor’s mother Chris.

Christine was one of our favourite people,
She was always full of love,
I’m sure she’s having a glass of champers,
And looking down from above.

For all the single women here,
Feeling slightly giddy?
I’m afraid that I’m a married man,
But have you met my friend Pete Diddy?

Lauren you’re a lucky woman,
Marrying one life’s greatest men,
Next we’re off to London,
For the wedding of Alex & Gem.

This poem is nearly over,
We’re all dying for a bottle of ken,
Enjoy the celebrations,
Let us go in peace. Amen.